There were years where I sincerely did not wish to be alive, I felt that bad about myself. That was even before my injury and crippling chronic pain. Then after chronic pain afflicted me, I wanted to live even less.
How to heal myself from this state of daily despondency? I would take walks out in nature, in a nearby park. At the time I recorded this video, I had been doing walking therapy in the park for about a year, most always very painful.
But lately, there were some stretches of time, twenty seconds, maybe several minutes sometimes, where I was in significantly less pain. I began to feel hope that I might want to live again, or at least appreciate that I was alive now and what a precious gift that was.
A gift for which I expressed my gratitude in this video where I recorded myself in some of my favorite healing places in nature.